That Pantless Life

I was infatuated with his pantless lifestyle

While I love sharing funny dating blunder stories, this one has more of a serious tone.  I think that almost everyone has a story about how they fell crazy head-over-heels over someone. This is mine.

How it came to be

We met at a food-related event that I hosted. Initially, I wasn’t interested in him, but he grew on me. He pursued me, and I let my guard down with him. He initiated and I remember feeling so giddy and happy about it all. I would sit at work happily pounding out some crazy financial models, listening to music and just feeling elated about it all. I had no control over how I felt and I just accepted it. I felt happy every time he messaged me, and I would look forward to the next time I got to see him. Every moment with him felt fleeting. I wanted to be with him all the time. I was literally high on this relationship.

And then this happened. In short, he showed up at a party with another girl, and we decided to stop seeing each other. The thing is that we had a lot of common friends. As much as I wanted to distance myself from what happened, I kept seeing his face. I put in an honest effort to date someone else during this time while we weren’t together, but I just couldn’t. I continued to be drawn towards him and we continued to talk and we soon found ourselves together again. I found myself in a toxic relationship with someone who openly told me that he wasn’t sure that he wanted to be with me.

It sure didn’t feel toxic though. At that moment in time, I felt happy with him. He would come over all the time and we enjoyed each others company. We went on vacation together, he met my friends and integrated with them nicely. I gave him my house keys and he would stay over for days on end. I knew he didn’t feel the same way about me, but I secretly hoped that our arrangement would grow on him.  

He certainly seemed to enjoy our time together, but I also knew in my heart that it wouldn’t last. He kept our relationship a secret from our common friends, even though everyone eventually knew we were together. He openly flirted with everyone in front of me. We would go to parties where he would disappear with another girl. I even once walked in on him massaging a girl with her top off at a party.  Of course, I’d bring it up with him, but when it came down to it I felt that I would just be happier with him than without him.  I felt like when I was with him, I was winning in life.

How it ended

We had just come back from vacation, he helped me with some home renovations and he threw a surprise birthday party for me. Just as I thought maybe things were going well, he told me he couldn’t continue and that he felt nothing for me. That was it and I knew it. I was devastated nonetheless. I made a conscious decision to distance myself from our common friends. I just couldn’t deal. I do feel bad for some of these people who really tried to extend their friendship to me, but this was the only way I felt like I could cope.

Why I was so infatuated

So what was it that had me so infatuated?  I think I really admired him and specifically, I admired his entrepreneurial spirit.  I loved that he created this life for himself as a freelancer and as a founder of a start-up.  When it came down to his business-sense, his judgement, his work ethics, I felt that I saw eye-to-eye with him on many of these things.  He may not have been in love with me, but I know he recognized the strengths that I brought to our partnership.

When it came down to it, I wanted his lifestyle (and I thought I wanted it with him).  He was living that pantless lifestyle, and I wanted it.  I wouldn’t say our break-up compelled me to be an entrepreneur (I always knew that was my goal), but he showed me what it was like to live that pantless lifestyle and what I had to gain.  Shortly after we broke up, I found a path that allowed me to start my own business. 

1 thought on “I was infatuated with his pantless lifestyle

  1. Wow, what a great story, thanks for sharing. We’ve all gone through that one big heartbreak that leaves scars that eventually fade and leave us with a better understanding of ourselves. I’ll have to say though…lots of mixed signals from this guy!

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